Gifts
I have my father's green eyes.
I have his straight brown hair. I have his nose. My mother shaped my jaw, but my smile is his. From him, I inherited my humour and my hideous jokes. I have the look in my eye that he used to have when he would listen to music. That is mine, now. I have hands that tap out rhythms. I have thoughts that come together and need to be written down, all from him. He gave me my quiet moods, as my mother gave me joviality and chatter.
My father, of course, gave my brother things, too. He has a knack for mathematics that I do not share, as well as an eye and a hand for constructing things. Dale barely has to measure when he builds.
Today would have been his birthday and I am teetering on the verge of celebrating something signifigant without him. There have been others that he has missed, too. The point is, he's not here now, and this one seems special. I don't think it'll be as hard from here until I have to find someone to give me away. Perhaps my brother will stand in.
I'll be 21 on Monday. I won't be a little girl any more. I'll be an adult, all proper and grown up. But I still need my Daddy sometimes.
posted by Emma @ 3:20 pm
2 Comments:
*hugs Em*
Growing up doesn't make us need our daddies any less...
He's with you, sweetie. And I'm sure he'll be celebrating too.
I read an article written by Matthew Engel who had lost his son Laurie to cancer. He quoted a letter send to him by another father who had experienced the loss of a child:
"This much I'm reasonably certain of, that there are much worse emotions to have to live with than sadness, however vast and deep that sadness might be. It can be uplifting, invigorating, strengthening, motivating and, above all, a powerful reminder of how much Laurie still matters, and always will. It can be other things, too, but don't let it."
I loved the fact that someone found the right words (for me) to describe a loss, be it a child or a parent. Special occasions are always a strong reminder of the loss, but also a great moment to remember how much love he had for you.
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