Emma at the Crossroads Again
I think I'm wigging out.
I've sat down to do a rough draft of the application essays for the radio course at Swinburne, and I've decided to have a bit of a freak out about it.
I just don't know if this is what I should be doing! All year I've been torn between going back to Deakin to add honours to my degree and striking out into new territory to do a year of radio production. But... Argh! Is it what I really want to do? I don't know! I'm sorely tempted to go ahead and do radio, because I'm sure that it will be entertaining as well as educational and I could see myself in the radio industry...
But is that right for me? Even after a year off to think about where I'm going with regards to education and indeed, the rest of my life, I'm not sure at all. Oh, sure I could write while I'm studying and try to sell short stories to various magazines, or even get a novel going while I'm running around doing everything else. But I just don't know!
I've felt enormously drained when it comes to writing all year. I've managed a few short stories here and there, but I have not managed near to what I thought I would. All this free time to write... and very little is coming to me. In truth, I think I was far more inspired when I was studying full time and working my arse off at Automatic, as well as trying to be a social individual. My brain has gotten lazy and under stimulated.
Besides, I'm not going to be convinced that I'm a good enough writer to 'make it' until my future agent thumps down a copy of my book in print and ready to go. Oh sure, I'm a fair writer. I can string a story together. But I really, honestly doubt that I have that kick that sets truly wonderful writers apart. Even after my study of the craft. Even after reading more than a novel a week almost my entire life since I was eight years old.
So if I'm not good enough (and I will never be convinced that I am) then is radio the way to go? Possibly. I'm sure it would be more fun than sitting in an office day in day out. And I could write on the side.
So? I'm still wigging out. Maybe it's the part of me that has been travelling and escaped responsibility not wanting to go back. Or maybe, I just don't know.
posted by Emma @ 10:47 pm
8 Comments:
Ata's best advice is.... (are you ready? Really really ready?)
Okay, I have no good advice. Just to, perhaps, consider what you would like the shape of your life to be in the Future rather than what you want to do Now, so that you have something to work towards. And if all else fails, work awhile before you go back to study. Or take part-time study of some sort. Or, you know, whatever you want.
Does that help?
I think you should try the radio thing. It sounds like you need a bit of a break from writing, and you've wanted to look into broadcasting for ages now - why not do it when you're not feeling too creative in the other talent area? Who knows, the completely change could be exactly the stimulation you need to start writing again.
And it's not like this is a one-time-only life decision. It's only one year of your life. If you don't like radio after all, go back to Deakin and do your honours in 2008. Either way you'll know for sure that you've explored both areas of interest, and you won't be left wondering 'what if?'.
Em,
I think you should do radio, I don't know too much about all of this but I guess your talent in writing could get you far in Radio. You can always do always do writing on the side.
love Richelle
P.S- i wish you many poo poos and wee wees. (daisy told me to write that, immature...)
You have to do whatever feels the most right to you, Em. But I think I'd probably egg you in the direction of radio too, at the moment. Your writing is fantastic. Really... it is. But the curse and the blessing of writing is that you can (and often have to) do it alongside whatever else you're doing. Making a living from writing takes a lot of time and energy. So, if you can make a living doing something else and aim to use writing as a secondary income (at least at first), you'll probably be in a much better position. I may be totally wrong, but I'd have thought radio would be easier to get into and find a job with than writing? Especially once you have the additional training.
Plus, by choosing one thing you're not overruling the other. I mean, whichever you do first, you can go back and do the other later on. You're never too old to study. I think there's often a danger in these things that you feel forced to make a 'career' decision, and that such a choice must stick with you all your life. Rubbish! There's nothing to stop you having many different careers during one lifetime. Why not be a radio presenter and a writer? I'd have thought they complement each other quite well. And at the moment, if your writing inspiration isn't at its peak, perhaps it's a good time to do the radio stuff. You can always keep writing bits and pieces as you go along, and then do your Honours in a few years' time, or whenever you feel the need for more academic stimulation.
Maybe...?
Thanks everyone! Yeah, I'm going to do radio... It makes sense to do it now, I think. Besides, I've already missed the chance of getting to do honors with my friends.
I may be totally wrong, but I'd have thought radio would be easier to get into and find a job with than writing?
Yep, you're right, Sky. The course I want to do almost guarantees that I'll get work in radio. They have a rate of 80% that get into the industry. I think about two of the people I went to Deakin with actually have work in publishing or editing or any other writing job. So yes, it makes a lot of sense in that way!
Hah, hey Richelle! (That's my cousin, for everyone else who reads.) You don't mind if I read your blog do you?
Hey Em, I'm going to be the devil's avocado and say go for honours.
Only because there are rumours abounding that the program will soon be axed. I'm applying, even though I have other opportunities open to me at the moment, just because it might be my last chance. Sounds like the radio thing will be around when you finish honours.
Anyway, like everyone else says, the two are very complementary. And it would probably be very hard to make a full time living out of either, so having both would be advantageous. You say that graduates of the radio course have an 80% employment rate in the industry - but be careful that they're not counting underemployed people in that statistic.
Hello all.
Of course of you read my blog Em
You can even comment (oooh)
Its very lonely. Really lonely.
Mums was telling my friends that I'm exactly like you on my birthday...
Love Richelle
Oh, hey Chloe!
How are you, anyway? *grin*
The thing about honours is... I don't think I have any direction when it comes to it, you know? I have no 'question' that I want to answer. So... I don't know. I suppose I'll apply for the radio (I'm in honours anyway, just have to let them know) and see what happens. I might not get into radio, anyway.
Good to see you!
And yes, I shall read your blog, Richelle. *grin* It's good to be able to see what you're up to!
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