Meh
So I'm in a strange mood today. Yesterday I was all buzzed and bouncing over some newly-discovered confidence when it comes to my writing, but today I just feel flat and... dare I say it? Apathetic. It might be because the John Marsden Short Story Awards are on tonight, and I'm planning on attending. (It was going to be a night out at the AFIs, but long story short, I'm not going.) For a while I was excited about the night, and then I felt very meh about it. For one thing, I'm sure I won't win, seeing as my story was massively edited since I sent that draft. I was cool with that, thinking that I can always edit the hell out of it (again) and send it out somewhere else. Now I just feel like I suck.
Of course, I'm writing this without knowing the result, so I'm going to look like a fucking idiot if I win or place.
There are a few niggling little problems on the home front, although I do mostly enjoy the new place.
Or maybe it's that I sent off the audition CD for the radio course today. I don't know if I did my best. Is that going to screw me? I tried hard to get it to sound good, but I didn't manage to put some extra stuff on, which I could have done. I just wasn't confident enough with the SYN equipment to copy something from the audio log onto the file I was working on. But never mind, what will come will come.
Maybe I need to go on a chocolate bender to cheer myself up.
Edit: Looks like I lost out. Well, I never expected a win. I'd hoped, of course. Well, that sure has made me feel worse. If you don't mind, I'm going to go and wallow in my own self-pity for a while.
posted by Emma @ 12:16 pm
5 Comments:
Em. You do not suck. By any means.
I'm really sorry to hear you didn't win. But, like you said, you've edited the piece loads more since submitting it, and you can definitely send if off elsewhere. It's such a good story. I'll eat my hat if you don't get it placed somewhere. Or, at least, I would if I had a hat. I could get one just in case, but that would be a waste of money since you'll get the story published and I won't need to eat it anyway.
*hugs*
You rock. Don't ever forget it.
Wallowing in self pity? Sounds like fun. Can I join you? I have Tim-Tams....
Oh yeah, and what Sky said.
Shall we go have a Word with Mr Marsden in January, hmm?
And bring baseball bats?
Ye will have many losses and many wins, Emma love. Do not take them to heart.
Ah, thanks guys. Now I feel all humbled... and slightly silly for being melodramatic. Really, thank you.
I did win back my determination to get the damn piece published. I've worked too hard on it to let it go. I need to order some American stamps (because I couldn't have gotten them when I was actually in the country, no, that would have been too easy... idiot!) but as soon as I do, I shall send. And cross my fingers, eh?
*nibbles Timtam*
Ignore me when I do that next time, eh?
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