So I'm in a strange mood today. Yesterday I was all buzzed and bouncing over some newly-discovered confidence when it comes to my writing, but today I just feel flat and... dare I say it? Apathetic. It might be because the John Marsden Short Story Awards are on tonight, and I'm planning on attending. (It was going to be a night out at the AFIs, but long story short, I'm not going.) For a while I was excited about the night, and then I felt very meh about it. For one thing, I'm sure I won't win, seeing as my story was massively edited since I sent that draft. I was cool with that, thinking that I can always edit the hell out of it (again) and send it out somewhere else. Now I just feel like I suck.
Of course, I'm writing this without knowing the result, so I'm going to look like a fucking idiot if I win or place.
There are a few niggling little problems on the home front, although I do mostly enjoy the new place.
Or maybe it's that I sent off the audition CD for the radio course today. I don't know if I did my best. Is that going to screw me? I tried hard to get it to sound good, but I didn't manage to put some extra stuff on, which I could have done. I just wasn't confident enough with the SYN equipment to copy something from the audio log onto the file I was working on. But never mind, what will come will come.
Maybe I need to go on a chocolate bender to cheer myself up.
Edit: Looks like I lost out. Well, I never expected a win. I'd hoped, of course. Well, that sure has made me feel worse. If you don't mind, I'm going to go and wallow in my own self-pity for a while.