In Other News

Things not to do while walking along a path listening to music:

• Gesticulate, mouth the words and covertly shimmy to Shirley Bassey's Goldfinger, only to be suprised by a jogger running past you and nearly wetting yourself.
• Try to strut when a bunch of scary teenagers accost you. I'm pretty sure they were laughing at me and not nothing.
• Bust a move to Danger, High Voltage by Electric Six unless you are sure that nobody is behind you.

And in other news, there is a new podcast up. Please keep sexpot tones away from open flames and small children.

The MS Romantika

I knew I'd get around to posting about this eventually. So, for those of you who didn't know, I went on a cruise to Tallinn on the weekend. The trip was suggested by Ash's best friend Acy (I'm stealing her nick because the A's are confusing) because it was a cheap summer special. I think the actual trip cost about $20 AU. And we got B Cabins! It was pretty much the same as the one on the other ship, but a slightly smaller bathroom, and you could properly push the single beds together. I liked that a whole lot more than sleeping on the floor.

Here's me on the boat.


And A and Gino:



So. Ash, Acy, Gino (her boyfriend) and I wandered the boat for a while on Saturday night before heading to the buffet. Never, ever, ever go to all you can eat buffet with Ash and Acy. They eat so much it makes you sick just watching them. And Acy is tiny! I have no idea how she does it. I came to the conclusion that she's actually a buffet robot, and has a tiny machine in her belly that burns away the food.

Now, I'm not exactly a small eater. In fact, I'm more than happy to indulge in good food, and the buffet selection was really very tasty. I had three or four helpings, reasonably small? You know, some smoked meats to begin with, and some salad, then some roast lamb and potato, then I tried a stew and some yummy veggies. After that, I had a dessert or two. Nothing fancy, just some fruit and ice-cream. I think Acy lost count of how many plates she had. Gino was stubborn and ate until he was sick, but we both still sat there groaning for a good 45 minutes while Ash and Acy kept eating.

Anyway, we had a drink or two and went to the lounge at the end of the boat. I decided to play some roulette (which I had never played before) and bet 100:-, about $20. I managed to get lucky and triple it. So, that made me happy. I was tempted to keep going, but though I might as well walk away with my winnings. So I did.

The next day we arrived in Tallinn. Upon getting off the boat, we saw crooked concrete paths, milling tourists and about twenty duty-free alcohol shops. Seriously, they were everywhere! We walked into the older part of town desperate for something to eat. We found a cafe and ordered sandwiches (and in Gino's case, a pint.) Then we basically walked around some more, ate again (there was this whole thing about a 1 litre beer, but that takes ages to tell...) and took lots of photos of pretty Tallinn.



And some more pretty buildings:



And here's a lovely church:


Right, so after that we sat down and ate steaks at an 'Alabaman Steak House.' It was actually pretty tasty, although the waitress didn't ask how we wanted the steak cooked, and it was therefore overdone, but still pretty nice. Oh! I didn't mention the currency! The Estonian Krooner is called the EEK. As opposed to the AUD. Heh. So we walked around asking 'How many EEKs for this gin? Oh, Two hundred EEKs? Eeek! Heh heh heh...' Yeah, I know how lame that is...

And why not some more photos?

'That is a big bell.'


'What!? It's the latest style!' (Sorry Keppet...) Mm, fashionable and smutty. (Isn't that Rian?)



Er, what? (Sorry about the blur.)




So, after walking Tallinn, we went back to the ship, but not before Gino got his hands on a huge bottle of absinth. Mm, absinth. Actually, he purchased so much duty-free alcohol and chocolate that he could barely carry it off the ship. I was restrained, and simply selected Frangelico and some chocolate. Then again, there is something to be said for a bottle of vodka so big you can barely lift it.

Saturday night was given over to more wandering the ship, and dinner at the '25 Hour' fast food place. What, is it convenient into the 4th dimension? I heard some Aussies, but was too gutless to go over and say hello. We sat around for ages listening to Estonia karaoke (terrible stuff) waiting for my turn, but got so annoyed at waiting that we buggered off. Alas, I couldn't sing 'Call Me' at the top of my lungs. Woe.

And so, we slept, and woke up to an announcement that the cleaning people would be coming around. We ignored them. I went home to collapse, while Ash, the poor thing, went to work.

I'll leave you with a photo of a beer sign. Le what?

New Muse

I'll post about the holiday later, but right now I'm listening to Black Holes and Revelations, which Muse have been cool enough to put up on their Myspace for people to listen to.

Listen here.

At first listen, I thought it was fairly different, but good. On a second listen, I'm liking it more and more. There is only one song that has the huge piano that I love, but there are plenty of heavier songs. The lyrics all fit together nicely, too.

Soldier's Poem is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard in my life. Seriously. It's just perfect. Map of the Problemesque is fantastic, too.

I can't wait until I get the album. And I'm so happy that I didn't win tickets to the free show that I couldn't get to. I would have been unbearably pissy about missing all of this live.

A Tale of Little Emma

When I was in year 7, we had a class on 'Studies of Society and the Environment' which was a mixture of history, social studies and culture. One day in this particular class, we were studying Ancient Egypt, a topic that I was very interested in, although at that point I didn't know to say 'Yay, polytheism!' but rather thought 'The gods are cool!'

The class was assigned some task or another, something to do with reading a passage from a text book and making notes. Whoever finished first was able to pick the topic of their project. I was very excited. I tore through the books, intent on finishing first so that I could study mummification. I scrawled as fast as I could, but to no avail. The new girl beat me to it. I scowled jealously at her as she went up the front to show her work and pick her topic. I scribbled the last of the work down and made my way to the front, hoping to be able to pick something as interesting.

'Hmm,' the new girl pondered. 'I think I want to do agriculture.'

'Agriculture?' I was flabbergasted. 'Mummies! I'm taking mummies!'

Does that sound like me?

Swedes Here, Swedes There

New episode is up and ready to go.

This week, I feature Melbourne band Amphetish and jabber on about the World Cup.

(Next week, Rian, I shall look at fashion.)

I'll Admit It...

I thought the scroll thing was cool.

Provided By MetroLyrics

Lake "Near By"

Ouch. No, seriously, ow. My legs are bloody killing me. Ash and I decided to go for a swim in the nearest lake today. We even had a map and everything. See, even though Sweden is full of wonderful lakes to swim in, they're not actually near any of the houses. But anyway, she looked up this big old lake and hand-drew a map. We packed bathers and lunch and water bottles and everything, and set off.

I know Sweden isn't nearly as hot as it is back home, but it's still hot enough to make it slightly yucky to walk around in all day. After an hour and a half of walking (and going down the wrong forest path, and doubling back and finally finding our way) we finally made it. The lake was rather beachy, all in all. There were kids and dogs and people BBQ'ing everywhere. It was even rather sandy. The nicest part was the fact that the forest came almost all the way up to the water's edge, which made it all nice and shady and lovely.

Swedes have no modesty.

Me: 'Er, so is there somewhere to get changed?"
Ash: 'What's wrong with here?"
Me: 'There's a guy on that rock over there. And we're right out in the open!'
Ash: 'So?'
Me: '...Hold my towel.'

So that was embarrassing. Never mind, we found a patch of grass, dumped our stuff and chased some ducklings (aw) into the water. It was freezing, and of course we were girly and got in slowly with much squeaking. (But, you know, I used to just jump right in. Sweden has made me a wuss.) When we'd adjusted, the water was beeeeautiful. We swam for a bit, then got out and ate lunch, then lay around in the sunshine (ozone layer! yes!) and then went swimming again. When we were getting changed to come back home again, two guys wandered past. Thank god for seeing them coming and my towel.

This was followed by getting an ice cream and trekking for another hour to get home. Actually, the walk home was much better, as everything had cooled down and we actually knew where we were going. Makes a difference, I'm telling you.

But ouch. I'm not a seasoned stroller like our dear Squishy-Shoed Skits. I don't mince past mangroves like Myo. Yeah, I do go on 5km walks about five times a week. But eugh! My legs! Just cut them off at the hip!

Updated

There is a new episode of Eat Your Swedes ready to go.

And it's only one day late. Well, that's not bad, is it?

Let The Sun Shine

Ah, such beautiful weather we're having! The air smells like flowers and fresh dirt, and all of the trees are blooming beautifully. All you'd need to do is add in the scent of wet concrete in the sun and chlorine-spiked sunscreen and you'd have my childhood summers.

Ash's best friend came over to hang out, so I left them to talk and watched my newly arrived Veronica Mars DVDs and ate the spectacular cookies I made. After that, we ate a massive dinner and found out that A has not one, but two job interviews coming up! She's been looking for work for ages, and seeing as Sweden has no jobs at all, it's very very cool. We all went for a nice walk in the sun and ate ice-cream. Then Ash and I bashed around the free beach ball that came with the ice-creams in a mockery of volleyball.

I love the fact that I have all summer to slack off and play, then I get to go to NY to party, and then I come home to Aussie summer and get to do it all again! Aside from the slacking off, of course, as I'll probably enslave myself at Auto once more. But never mind, I'm sure there will be plenty of time for fun.

What a horrible gloating post. I'm sorry! And I even mean it. Now, off to watch DVDs and eat yet more cookies.

A Pictorial

Photos of the cruise, now that I've finally gotten around to it. I think my lazy behaviour sprung from the fact that I have to reach behind the computer and unplug my iPod and then find the right cord for the camera and plug that in, while trying not to show my crack.

But now, some photos.

The cabin. Yeah, I thought it was tiny, too.


This is the fold out bed. Or, one of them. There were four in our room. Note the little strap holding things in. When it was on the floor, there was less space than that. Craaamped. And you should see the bathroom!

Ok, so there was a shower off to the right. A little one. But still, you didn't have to hold it up, so that's one thing...


The fruit machines. Some of them actually had fruit.

Ash won't let me put up any photos of us, because she says she looks ugly. (Which of course she doesn't.) I might be able to find one, though... Will update when I've found one that doesn't cause the end of our relationship because she's beaten me to death with a haddock.

Adventures with Cinderella

I can't believe that's what you thought of when you read the post title, you smutmonger.

So. The cruise was spectacular indeed. We arrived fairly early to check-in, after amusing a security guard with my Australian passport. I'm sure most Aussies find something more exciting to do in Sweden, or they don't know about how drunk everyone gets. The nice lady at the desk decided that we looked like wonderful people and upgraded us to a B cabin instead of a C. I think the difference was carpet, a mirror, a bigger bathroom and a couch that folded out of one of the beds. That, and we didn't have to take an elevator to the bowels of the ship. No, we were located on deck 6, one under the gaming level, two under the restaurants.

My initial reaction to getting on the boat was claustrophobia. The roof was lower than I thought it would be and I felt boxed in. That passed rather quickly. Ash and I dumped our stuff in our cabin and, spotting cheap drink vouchers, went in search of a bar. We wandered outside and watched the ship take off, then searched high and low for a bar that was actually open. We finally found one and settled into the cafeteria to drink down our Apple vodka, lime and 7-up cocktails. Eh, they were fairly good. Nothing spectacular. So, we traipsed every so slightly tipsy to the duty free.

They were pimping Jacob's Creek, which I thought was fairly funny. (Standard-ish Aussie wine, served on Qantas flights.) I passed on buying cheap tequila, figuring that having shots then sitting around here wouldn't really be in the spirit. (But I will buy some next time and bring it to NY. Hee. ) Instead, I picked up duty free Kahlua and Baileys, figuring that I can combine them nicely, and or sit around and drink them while watching TV. Such snug drinks they are. I also got my hands on a large bag of M&Ms. Mmm, chocolate. Everyone else on the ship was buying up big, most people had even thought to bring a little trolley to carry their cases of beer/several bottles of gin.

After duty free, we booked into the fancy restaurant (which was pretty much the same price as the Tapas bar, but I felt like real food) and wandered around until our table was ready. Ash played some computerised card games, and I had a go on the pokies. Annoyed that I seemed to lose, I went and played a video game instead. I shot the baddies, I shot them good.

Finally, we had dinner. I was starving! The menu was fairly elaborate, consisting mainly of fish dishes. I felt faintly queasy from the ship motion, and don't really like fish all that much anyway... so I was a bogan and ordered a hamburger. (What!? It was on the menu...) Ash did too. But I had a coke, while she had wine. I felt like such a bogan... Argh. But it was very tasty. There was a guy in the bar (just behind the main restaurant bit) playing piano and singing along. He did Norah Jones with some woman, and also The House of the Rising Sun. Surprisingly good dinner music. (Yeah, like Jones wasn't THE dinner music of 2002.)

After dinner we went to the cabin and collapsed for a while. We ended up pulling the mattresses out of the beds and putting them on the floor so we could snuggle. Still, there was bugger all room. After making out for a while, we decided to go have another drink and see what we could find to do. There was a band called 'The Good Timers' playing at the main bar/dance floor bit. You can guess what kind of music they were playing. Yes, it was Drifters and swing classics. Not that I mind. There were 20+ couples getting funky on the dance floor. Well, when I say getting funky, I actually mean clinging to each other and swaying. But they looked like they were having fun, so bless. Some of them were 60 and over. Aw, older married people are sort of cute.

Ash and I grabbed a cocktail (mojito and tequila sunrise) and found a cosy corner. When they played 'I Will Survive' I pulled her onto the dance floor. Then they played slower songs, and couples kept whacking into us. One guy shot me a filthy look. I wasn't sure if it was because Ash and I were dancing rather terribly, or if he objected to us for being girls. We left anyway, and headed towards 'Club Seven' the ship's nightclub.

The music was pretty dodgy, and there were sleazy old men everywhere, but we had a bit of a dance. We sort of wandered in and out of there over the night. There was another girl couple making out on the dance floor, and some stupid guy kept pushing their heads together. Idiot. Oh, and someone tackled another guy and punched someone out. Security was not impressed. It was slightly funny to watch, though.

After dancing up a storm, we staggered back to the cabin, had a shower and went to sleep in our tiny little bed. Twas cozy. But still, cramped. I woke up in the morning and had to get up and move around.

Breakfast was half a sandwich and a cup of tea. We were on our way to all-you-can-eat buffet, so we didn't want to fill up. We wandered the ship, bought wine, then tucked into a huuuuge lunch. Ash had four helpings and two desserts. I barely made it through two. When we were done, Ash was so full her belly had gone all hard. Aw. We also drank rather a lot of beer. Well, Ash did. I had bad, bad red wine. Yuck. Well, it was from a tap (like beer) so no need to colour me surprised.

After that, we collapsed again to recover, packed, then played more video games (Dance Dance Revolution, I kicked arse and air hockey, I kicked arse again because Ash had never played...) and went to have yet another round of drinks. Mojito again for Ash and Harvey Wallbanger for me. Mmm, cocktails. After that, we were thrown off and came home, to play dead fish.

Photos tomorrow!

"Family" Values

Well, I feel like I'm about to cry. This is one of the most disgusting things I've read in a long time. Are gays and lesbians completely thrown out of 'family' structure because of their sexuality? How dare the government suggest that homosexuals are ruining their precious value system!

"Most Australians recognise that marriage is a sacred union the most basic building block of society and the foundation of a family," Mr Boswell said.

So gays and lesbians are counted as unproductive members of society? Our relationships are no foundation for family? I suppose Mr Boswell would make a family up of a mother, father and 2.5 kids. Yes? Does he have no notion of the changing nature of the family? What then would you call a group of adults living together in a flat? I would count Eck, Leigh and the boys family. Is a single unmarried mother also beyond the realms of society and the foundation of family?

I can barely type, I'm so angry about this. I want to scream at the walls or something.

I know there's a bigger issue at stake here, but I can't help thinking that they have already lost. Lesbians and gays are living together and forming families of their own decree, whether they are Federally sanctioned or not. So how could retaining the 'family' in name have anything to do with keeping values intact?

"Democrats leader Andrew Bartlett says the ban is disgusting and upsetting."

Of course it is!

'This bill doesn't only degrade marriage and is anti-family, it's anti-human and is a validation of a decline in moral standards and decency," Mr Bartlett said.

I am glad that someone has sense!

I am way, way too upset to blog coherantly about this. I think I need to take a walk.

Foodbags

I don't think I've ever eaten as well as I did yesterday. Or, at least, it was the best meal I've had since Mum and Rick did roast lamb on the Weber, but that's another story. I plan to spend a good deal of this post writing about the food, but we did have a good time, catching the bus to and from Vårsta and milling around making out at the bus stops. It was an absolutely beautiful day, too... I was starving by the time we got there, as we skipped lunch. It was well worth it.

Ash's father started off by mixing us vodka and cranberry on the rocks, which was surprisingly strong and of course went straight to my head. That'll learn me for hardly drinking in Sweden and not eating lunch. The starter was prosciutto and honeydew melon, with occasional bites of crusty bread. When that was done, the Italian red wine was served. It went nicely with the delicious marinated steak cooked on the grill. It was so good that Ash told me I looked like I'd just... *cough* Never mind. It was good. Ash and I both had second helpings. With that was salad and huge oven baked potatoes with paprika and garlic butter and sea-salt and pepper. We got nicely tipsy with the red wine, and finished the bottle between us.

And then came dessert. By this time we had needed to take a little rest in order to digest. Ash's father gave us strawberries with vanilla cream and with a ten-year-old French dessert wine which was perhaps the best thing I've ever tasted in my entire life. It went so perfectly with the strawberries that I giggled with sheer delight. It was so light and sweet that I couldn't possibly resist another tiny glass when it was offered.

Hence, the journey back to the bus stop was quite staggering and merry. We came home and promptly fell into bed.

Eating Swedes

Are we all being good little readers and listening to my podcast? If so, I applaud you and your good sense, and if not, get over here and have at it.

New episode as of today, in which I natter about the cost of living in such an expensive country and give you a recipe for the apparently unknown Svele.

Later today Ash and I are heading over to her father's place for a BBQ, or as Ash so lovingly puts it, 'We're going to go and eat grilled meat.' Hmm, I hope there's a bit more conversation, or I shall sit there and look embarrassed like I did last time. Meeting the parents is so much more fun when you don't speak their language.

The Hair and the Maiden Fair

Just because Jes and Q wanted to see how long it is now...

Erm, ignore my pyjama top...

Drunk Eighteen-Year-Olds Aren't As Funny As They Think They Are, Or Why You Should Never Drink at Kicki's.

So we went out last night with A and her New Boyfriend, who I'd met a couple of times before. Ash suggested an admittedly dodgy bar called Kicki's, which apparently had a dance floor as well as karaoke. It was also free before 9.30. So, we caught the train into Stockholm and met up with New Boyfriend, who hasn't slept properly in weeks (he's on call at his job a whole lot) and who had consumed a bottle of wine.

We got to stroll down the beautiful Queen's Street to get to the bar. I love this street, as it happens to be the most lovely way to get to Oldtown. They've hung up hundreds of colourful banners in honour of either the emergence of summer or the World Cup. Either way, it's usually fairly packed, and was more so last night because of the hundreds of students out celebrating their graduation.

The bar was sort of empty when we arrived, and A had forgotten her ID. Luckily enough, the security guard didn't seem too bothered by this, and waved her through. I ordered a Corona with lime. Yes, I drink my beer like a girl, but it's oh so tasty. I don't think the bar guy was too impressed with my speaking English. Either that, or he was annoyed with me for ordering while he was trying to watch the soccer. (Sweden lost, for all you non-sporty folk.) New Boyfriend told us some rather horrific work stories, including one in which a mental patient (he works in a hospital) tried to borrow a knife from him. According to NB, the guy would have been content with a screwdriver.

We played the pokies for a bit (I bet a whole 20 kronor, $3.50) and managed to lose. Ash won her money back. Go her. Then we all piled into the next room, still awaiting the karaoke. NB said I would be his god if I sang 'All By Myself' in the foetal position and cried on stage. I must admit that I was sorely tempted. But no, I had my song all picked out, Blondie's 'Hangin' on the Telephone.' It was then that the badly dressed teens wandered in. A word of advice. If you have bleached blonde hair, from the bottle or naturally, please don't pile on foundation that is two shades too dark for your skin. It makes you look like you're trying to hide the fact that you've been dead for a month, and have decided to once more rejoin the living through some feat of necromancy. Really, it does. So don't.

The students were all wearing silly little hats, like the captain of the Loveboat. Most of them looked like they'd never been out in their lives. For the record, Kicki's is a venue that allows eighteen-year-olds. Some places, you must be 21, some as much as 27. No idea why. Perhaps they're trying to target more specific customers? Anyway, Kicki's was crawling with youngins, most looking apprehensively at shots of alcohol with 'Do I dare?' faces.

NB and I both ordered five shots of alcohol each. It was only 100:- for a rack of 5, but they only had three or four flavours. Ash had some liquorice ones, which were salty and foul. I made do with raspberry, which tasted like crap and gave me a headache. Stupid cheap alcohol. NB downed five in a row. He did make a face half-way through, which made me giggle.

At about 12 we gave up on karaoke and decided to bugger off. We all caught the train, and were horrified to find a tizzied-up young girl heaving her guts out all over the train floor on her way out. Some lovely soul covered it with newspaper. We wrinkled our noses and went to the other end of the train. NB was listening to his iPod, which I stole to have a look at. He had Muse, so of course we nattered about that for a while. He played Space Dementia, his favourite song. I squeed a little when he said that. A and NB got off at Tumba, so Ash and I made out for a while. Then we talked about Martin, and wondered of we should go and get Maccas. In the end, we jumped on a bus and came home to a hastily made carbonara. I told Ash about our Mi Goreng days and pined a little for them.

It was rather a terrible night out, but sort of fun all the same. Still, it was strange being surrounded by kids younger than my little brother. I would rather have gotten pissed with him, as most of his mates are pretty cool.

Broken Spine

The damn flash kept ruining my shot... And it's sort of hard to make out. Perhaps I should summon Rian to take photos of my book, seeing as she managed it so well.


Ash read it in the bath, but didn't drop it. She has promised me a new copy.

Scribing

Today I got something creative done. I'm fairly happy with the beginning that I came up with, although it's the third of this particular piece that I've attempted. It still doesn't seem strong enough. My idea seems to be the kind that is easily forgotten and quicky grows stale. Perhaps I need to look through my notes and see what else I can come up with.

It's been a bugger of an idea from the start, really. First it was too complicated and vague to organise, and now that I've set it out a little, it's even more difficult to actually write. I can feel my characters sitting there, all lifeless and drab. It's rather annoying, actually.

I must go and look through my notes and see if I can find that inspiration that I left somewhere.

Not only is this still a pain in the proverbial, but I'm getting these little nagging ideas about other projects that I could work on. They all seem terrible when I actually stop and think about them, so maybe it's just my unconscious mind giving me distractions or something.

Must focus! Must write well!